She’s Wildewoman #5: Listening is an Act of Love
By Allison Parssi
Over the past month, the idea of family has frequently been on my mind. Maybe it’s because of my sister’s approaching birthday. Maybe it’s because I can hear the longing in my parents’ voices whenever we talk on the phone. Or maybe it’s because one of my best friends is moving across the country at the end of the week. These concurrent experiences reminded me of how I personally define “family.” The definition of the word extends beyond the strictly biological makeup of a person, into the people we choose to bring into our lives.
I had never heard the term “chosen family” until I moved to Chicago. Chosen families originate within the LGBTQ+ community and often form as the result of people being rejected by their biological families. They can take on many different forms, but ultimately it’s a group of people whose relationships we value as if they are related by blood. For me, these are the people who support growth, push limits, and offer encouragement and comfort. They are the people who I’ve laughed and cried with; who I’ve cooked for and who have cared for me.
As one might expect, many of my important memories and relationships are connected to music. Reflecting on my friend’s upcoming move immediately brought me back to all of the concerts we had seen together since we first met. Memories of road trips, meeting favorite artists, and standing in venues for hours just so we could be closer to the stage, all rushed back. Whether the artist meant a lot to one or both of us, we were there to share these experiences with one another.
Her friendship made me realize that I have these shared music memories with many members of my chosen family. When I first came to Chicago, music gave me comfort in an unfamiliar city and eventually created a community of people I trust and respect. That’s the magic behind music. Having mutual love for an artist or band builds a community almost automatically. It’s how someone can go to a show alone, but not feel lonely. The bonds between people in these music communities are strong and, as two separate events from last week’s local news have proven, are stronger when being silenced.
One of these events was the removal of Sen Morimoto’s performance from the Millenium Park at Home Concert Series. Organized by Chicago’s Department of Cultural Affairs and Special Events (DCASE), Morimoto was scheduled to air a pre-recorded performance with fellow local singer-songwriter Tasha on Thursday, July 23. The day before the concert, Morimoto announced on social media that his portion would not be broadcasted. He had “been pulled from the lineup because of a statement [he] made in the video concerning Mayor Lightfoot’s actions” relating to Chicago protest and Mayor Lightfoot’s response. This form of blatant artistic censorship caused Tasha to request for her set to be pulled in solidarity, resulting in the entire show’s cancelation. The city was threatened by a thoughtful critique spoken in solidarity with the demands of protesters to defund the police and instate CPAC. DCASE’s idea of a solution was forcibly silencing Morimoto, showing that their language surrounding “diversity, equity, and access” is purely performative for BIPOC artists. What they probably did not anticipate was the support the two artists received. Their communities united to expose the story and censorship issues across news and social media platforms.
The second of these events was the shutdown of Burger Records due to allegations of sexual misconduct against many of the bands on their roster. Any words I say will not give the victims and their stories any justice. The accounts I’ve read and heard are horrifying. To see predominately white male musicians take advantage of and abuse women, non-binary, and trans people, especially those who are underage, is incredibly demoralizing. The worst part is that this is just the tip of the iceberg. These stories of toxic masculinity and assault are not isolated to this single record label - they span the entirety of the music industry.
When stories started to surface, fellow community members immediately took action to support, uplift, and aid those affected. Before the label completely shut down, affiliated bands released statements and cut ties in solidarity. The band Sloppy Jane compiled a Google Doc of labels, lawyers, and managers willing and able to help the female identifying musicians previously signed to Burger. The Instagram account @lured_by_burger was made and continues to amplify the voices of victims involved with the label. In this instance, when internal forces consistently suppressed the very own community, the community fought back. People listened to one another, believed their stories, and mobilized to take action.
While these two accounts deal with wildly different topics, both are rooted in similar forms of oppression. The former deals with an external force trying to silence an artist and his community, while the latter has internal forces silencing the community it built. If music has taught me anything, it’s that listening is an act of love. On both occasions, the community listened, showed up, and supported those who were wronged. This is the definition of family.
This Week’s Resources and Links:
Sen Morimoto Removed from Chicago Virtual Concert Bill After Criticizing Mayor by Matthew Strauss
Listen to Sen Morimoto’s new single “Woof” here and watch the music video here. (Album due October 23).
Listen to Tasha’s new single “But There’s Still the Moon” here. Watch her Audiotree Live Session here.
Sexual Misconduct Allegations Surface Against Burger Record Artists by Cynthia Schemmer
Now & Then: Toxic Masculinity in Music Culture and DIY Spaces by Cynthia Schemmer
@lured_by_burger - Amplifying voices and supporting victims of sexual predation by those involved with Burger Records. (Heavy trigger warning)
Why Queer People Need Chosen Families by Kyle Casey Chu
Between the Binary: On the Gratitude I Feel to My Chosen Family by Sandy Allen
Questlove Presents Chaka Khan - Part one of two live sets dedicated to Chaka Khan’s career